Little Criminals….Some things never change.

So times, they say, are-a-changin’. However, in the case of teenager mischief, it seems that time just seems to stand still, in my neighborhood anyway. Oh sure, teens now have to walk through metal detectors to get to home room and they are in constant communication with one another through text messages and myspace, but you see, when it comes to criminal mischief, at least the non-lethal description, kids are still kids.

I had to laugh a little as I lazily crossed the threshold of our entry way this morning and peeked out the paned window of our front door. I expected to see little other than a cat crossing the empty street and the paper laying calmly on the drive when I noticed the mail box was missing. “I’ve got to make a missing mailbox report right away.” I thought, as I draped my shoulders with a light sweater so I could go outside to begin my investigation. “Where could it have gone?” I asked myself. As I descended the stair case to the front yard, I realized that the mail box was not “missing” as I has initially suspected. Oh no, it was there on the ground behind our unsuspecting vehicle but in my haste to believe there is still goodness in the world and that the mail box top had simply “fallen off” or been “blown off” by a fierce wind, I spied an unsightly accomplice to the “crime” for which I hadn’t realized we were victims. A HUGE rock occupied the curve just below the tail pipe of my 12 year old Subaru….well okay, I guess HUGE is a bit mellow-dramatic; it was a huge rock for our neighborhood considering the only rocks visible in our cul-de-sac bare a canny resemblance to small river bottom dwellers for ground cover and the look of smart drive-way paving over what was previously referred to as the dead zone for the dead grass and swelling weed roots.

You’d think my reaction would be to stomp my way back up the drive to call the non-emergency number for the policy department. Instead of getting even remotely upset though, I imagined a small 14-year old girl about the size of a field mouse lifting that rock as far behind her right shoulder as possible and with her entire puny little body, lobbing the rock with all her might the required five feet to knock the hollow aluminum tube to the ground. I imagined that she laughed excitedly as the box flipped on its side and flung through the air crashing on the cement. I then smiled as I saw her face light up when her friends started to laugh as they ran toward the playground just situated a few hundred feet and several guarding trees away. I could hear her laughing and cussing the “s” word as she began to run after them. “You guys, wait for me…I think I heard something”……

After imagining the ruffled voices of teenage late-night wonderers and a fumbled get-away attempt into the night, as there was no plan nor plot to assert an escape, it occurred to me what a great neighborhood we do live in now. I smiled as I remembered the fear (and loathing) that living in the city had become and I began to thank the upper-floor bosses for the many blessings home ownership has brought to us. The illegible spray painted graffiti of the “north side posse” and the “west side mafia” on the bricks of several houses were no where to be found as we had so often awoke to in the city. The sounds of glass shattering and screeches of tires as car jackers sped away into obscurity were no longer audible. Strange cars dropping by momentarily at the neighbors condemned home to pick up a “stash” were a problem only the inner city dwellers had to worry about now. No more gun shots just down the alley way at 2:00 am or sirens around the clock up and down Lowell Boulevard. We were in the suburbs now, and it finally felt real and formidable.

As I swayed to the side of the lawn to pick up the deformed remnants of what was once our pristine mail box, I realized that these kids, while demonstrating blatant disrespect for our property which should be unacceptable, were only being kids. Sure they cost us about $60 in new materials and measurable time to rectify the situation so that we might receive our mail, but all in all, they were only doing what kids in these neighborhoods have been doing for decades…..playing a mindless game of “Mail Box” baseball or what I like to refer in this case as “Mail Box Discus”…..after all, preparation for the upcoming Olympics could have been an inspiring factor to attempt such a feat with a rock of such magnitude. I know, I know, it is not right to condone such behavior and you should know that I don’t condone it at all. I did file a police report this afternoon however this incident, seemingly , has only made me feel like the world still turns at an even pace.

See, I once participated in the game of mail box baseball when I was in high school. Now, for the record, I was a puny little 14 year old that could barely balance the wooded baseball bat out the window and due to my fear of flailing too far out of the sun roof resulting in my immanent injury, I was never able to actually strike a mail box, but I sure did laugh all the way back to some chump’s house after the criminal activity. And while I knew then and certainly am aware of now, it was a criminal act of vandalism that probably forced some 30 something couple to shell out hard earned cash to cover the damages…I also felt like it wasn’t all that bad. Sure we were damaging property but come on….we were kids. And heck, at least we didn’t have guns on us and we weren't holding up convenience stores in our cheerleading outfits or hog-tying and brutally beating our classmates. We were having some honest to goodness, old fashion fun. And yes, we did pay the piper after getting caught. We had to repay the damages and never attempted such stupidity again, but man, it was fun….and the thing is…..we weren’t drinking, and we weren’t doing drugs. We were just bored kids trying to pass some time and have a little crazy fun. Now, thank god no one got hurt…because we’d be having a totally different conversation but they were good times and seemed harmless enough at the time.

All of that being said, I do know that the police will now be stepping up patrols in our neighborhood past curfew to stale these little degenerates…but it sure was fun to see that kids are not really ALL bad these days….at least until the rock lands through the front room window….then we’ll be discussing a blog with very negative tones.

Take care all and stay safe!